Gambling Jokes

2 mates are at the sportsbooks when one loses $500 on a single game, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
His mate walks over to the dead man’s house and knocks on the door, the wife answers and asks what he wants.
He tells her “Your husband just lost $500 sports betting.”
She hollers, “TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!” to which the friend replies “okay I’ll tell him”.

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a flight. The lawyer asks the blonde if she would like to play a game and explains how it works:
“I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer you pay me, then we switch.
The blond says, “That’s not fair, I never finished high school”.
“In that case” replied the lawyer “if you don’t know the answer you pay me only $100, but if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $300”.
They agree to play the game and the lawyer asks the first question.
“What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”
The blonde doesn’t say a word and sends $100 to the lawyer.
Now it’s the blonde’s turn.
She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down with 4?”
The lawyer looks puzzled. He takes out his laptop and searches all his references, even the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he live-chats to his friends and co-workers – all to no avail. After over an hour of searching for the answer, he finally gives up and sends her $300.
The blonde doesn’t say anything.
The lawyer asks “Well, so what IS the answer?”
The blonde sends the lawyer $100.

A businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to bet on sports. He lost the shirt off his back and had nothing left but the second half of his round-trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.
So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers' license number, his address, et cetera but to no avail. The cabbie snapped, “If you don’t have $15, get the hell out of my cab loser!” So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and missed his flight.
One year later the businessman, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. He went out to the front of the casino to get a cab back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.
The businessman got in the first cab in the line, “How much for a ride to the airport,” he asked? “$15,” came the reply. “And will you include a blow-job on the way?” “What?!!! Get the hell out of my cab.”
The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked: “How much for a ride to the airport?” The cabbie replied “$15.” The businessman said “ok” and off they went.
As they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up to each driver.