Menu
A bum asks a man for a dollar.
The man says, “Are you just going to use it to buy booze?”
The bum says, “No.”
The man says, “Are you just going to use it to gamble and lose?”
The bum says, “No.”
The man says, “Well then, I’ll give you the dollar if you’ll you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn’t drink or gamble.”
Two bored, male casino dealers are waiting for someone to come to try their luck at their craps table. Finally, a beautiful young woman comes in wanting to bet ten grand on a single roll of the dice. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m half naked.” The dealers just stand there, too awestruck to speak.
The dealers stare at each other, flabbergasted. One of them finally asks, “What did she roll anyway?” The other responds, “I don’t know. I thought YOU were watching the dice!”
An ex writes a letter to the man she cheated on for years before dumping him at the altar:
"Dear Danny,
I have been unable to eat or sleep since I left on our wedding day. Can’t you find it in your heart to forgive and forget? Being away from you is breaking my heart. I was a fool, there’s nobody who can take your place. I only have eyes for you. All the love in the world.
Susan
PS. Congratulations on winning this week’s lottery.
A guy goes into a casino and sees a sign that reads: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
He thinks about it for a moment and then dials the number.
When they answered he says, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
The best daily bonuses on the internet
Our score: 
(4.3 / 5)
Welcome Bonus
Our score: 
(4.2 / 5)
Welcome Bonus
Our score: (4.2 / 5)
Bonus Code: 400BONUS
Our score: (4.2 / 5)
Bonus Code: 400BONUS
Our score: (4.2 / 5)
I found myself in a pub in Cork, Ireland. A group of American tourists came in.
One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think you're great drinkers. I bet $5,000 that no one here can drink 20 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes."
The bar was silent, but the American noticed one Irishman leaving. No one took up the bet.
40 minutes later, the Irishman who left returned and said, "Hey Yank, is yer bet still on?"
"Sure," said the American, "20 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of $5,000."
"Grand, " replied the Irishman, "so pour the pints and start the clock."
It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.
"OK Yank, pay up." said the Irishman.
"I'm happy to pay, here's your money," said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager, I saw you leave. Where did you go?"
"Well sir", replied the Irishman, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it."
An older gentleman is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, "I am on my way to attend a lecture about gambling, hookers, alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking, and staying out late."
The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replies, "My wife."
A blonde went to Atlantic City, looking to play the slots. She loved slots and had been waiting a long time for a trip out to a casino to really play. She made it to all the casinos looking for the best place to play. Finally, she found a place and picked a machine she thought was lucky for wins. She was throwing dollars upon dollars into the machine, and sure enough, she was getting back coins. Finally, the manager of the casino came up to the woman and asked her politely if she could just leave the change machine alone.
A man asks his wife what she would do if he won the lottery.
Well, “I would take half of it and leave you” she replied.
"Good, here’s $12.50. You can leave now" he said.
A dumb blonde was in a casino for the very first time.
The spinning ball of the roulette wheel caught her eye so she decides to play at the roulette table.
The dumb blonde not understanding the rules says, “I have no idea what number to play?”
A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her age.
Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 24.
The roulette wheel is spun, and 34 comes up!
The smile drifts from the blonde’s face and she faints from the shock.