Gambling Jokes

A group of lifelong friends from the same Chicago street spent a weekend gambling vacation in Las Vegas.
They all agreed if one of them won big they would treat the others to another gambling break next holiday.
One of the men on the gambling trip won $100,000 playing blackjack.
Remembering the agreement to treat the group if one of them won big he didn’t want anyone to know about his blackjack winnings, so decided not to return with the others, but took a later plane home, he arrived back at 3 a.m.
Believing he was safe, he immediately went out to the backyard of his house, dug a hole and hid the blackjack money in it.
The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole.
He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door, which was owned by a deaf-mute friend.
On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man.
Grabbing his gun in anger, the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man’s house.
“You tell this SOB that if he doesn’t give me back my $100,000 I’m going to kill him!” he screamed at the professor.
The professor conveyed the message to his deaf friend, and his friend replied in sign language, “I hid it in my backyard, underneath the cherry tree, I wasn’t going to keep it, I did it to teach him a lesson for being so cheap and underhanded!”
The professor turned to the enraged man with the gun and said, “He’s not going to tell you. He said he’d rather die first!”

A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG !
He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks.
Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG !
So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock. The deep voice says: OPEN !
Ok, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to destroy the lock, and when the chest is finally open, he sees a lot of gold coins.
The deep voice says: TO THE CASINO !
Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino. The deep voice says: ROULETTE !
So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables, where the players gaze at him with disbelief. The deep voice says: 27 !
He takes the whole pile and drops it at the 27. The table nearly bursts. Everybody is quiet when the croupier throws the ball. The ball stays at the 26.
The deep voice says: SHIT !

Two blonde friends, Jenny and Jane, went together to play the slot machines at the casino.
The blondes agreed that when their allotted gambling money was gone, she would go sit on the beach and wait for the other to finish gambling.
Jane quickly lost all of her money and went to sit on the beach.
The blonde patiently waited and waited and waited and waited on the beach.
After what seemed an eternity, she saw her blonde friend Jenny coming toward her carrying a huge sack of coins!
“Hey, Jane,” said Jenny, “how’d you do?”
“Well, Jenny”, said Jane, “you see me here on the beach, what do you think? It looks like you hit it big, though.”
“Oh yeah,” said Jenny, “did I find a good slot machine! It’s way in the back. I’ll show it to you, you can’t lose! EVERY TIME YOU PUT IN A DOLLAR FOUR QUARTERS COME OUT!!!”

Bob had been gambling in the casinos of Las Vegas all weekend and was down on his luck, he’d lost over $30,000!
He had gambled away all his money, including his emergency money and had to borrow a dime from another gambler just to use the men’s room.
By luck the stall happened to be open, so he gambled his last borrowed dime in a slot machine and hit the $500 jackpot!
He took his lucky winnings and went to the blackjack table and turned his winnings into ten million dollars before calling it a day.
Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Bob went on the lecture circuit, where he told his incredible lucky gambling story.
He told his audience of unlucky gamblers that he was eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever found the man who made his current life possible, he would share his lucky fortune with him right down the middle.
After months of gambling lectures, a man in the audience jumped up and said, “I’m that man. I was the one who gave you the dime.”
Bob replied “You’re not the one I’m looking for. I’m looking for the guy who left the stall door open!”