Gambling Jokes

There are two men in a bar.
One says to the other “I bet you $100 I can jump out of this window and jump back in, and stay in one piece”.
The other man agrees to the bet. The first man successfully jumps out of the bar window and then back in again without any trouble.
The second man assumes there must be some gimmick to the trick and says, “I bet you $200 I can do the same thing.”
The first man agrees and watches as the second man jumps out of the window and falls to his death.
“Jeez,” says the bartender, “You can be a really mean bastard when you’re drunk Superman.”

I was at the track and asked a guy for a tip. He asked me how long my pecker was. I told him 8 inches, he said to bet the 8 horse.
The 3 horse won the race ....... damn I knew I shouldn't have lied.

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.
One day he decided to throw a huge party, and during the party, he announced, "My dear guests...I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large SPLASH!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all of his might as the crowd cheered him on. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire was impressed.
He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain... which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?"
The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that WATER!!!

Two dog owners were bragging about the intelligence of their pets.
"The brightest dog I ever had," said one, "was a Great Dane that could play cards. He was a whiz at poker, but I had him put to sleep."
"You had him put to sleep, a bright dog like that? A dog like that would be worth a million dollars."
"Had to," he replied, "Caught him using marked cards!"